Kingdom At Work
When we talk about coaching, most leaders nod along. But when it comes time to actually correct someone — especially someone we trust or who gets results — we hesitate. We sugarcoat, delay, or avoid.
Why?
Because Kingdom-style coaching isn’t about managing behavior. It’s about loving people enough not to leave them stuck — and trusting God enough to step into discomfort when obedience requires it.
In a recent unpacking of Betenbough Companies’ Coaching Continuum, senior leaders shared raw, real stories of coaching moments: missed opportunities, miraculous turnarounds, and tough conversations that bore good fruit. What emerged wasn’t a model of corporate performance management, but a Spirit-led call to courageous love.
A Kingdom Coaching Toolbox — Not a Step Ladder
The Coaching Continuum lays out five distinct types of correction tools, from gentle reminders to serious interventions. It’s designed to help Kingdom-minded leaders stay relational while addressing real issues. Here’s what it includes:
- Training & Teaching – Walking with someone closely as they learn something new. It’s hands-on, patient, and proactive. “Let me show you how to do this.”
- One-Degree Corrections – Small, in-the-moment nudges when something’s slightly off. These are brief and gentle. “Hey, let’s tweak that next time.”
- Verbal Warnings – A documented conversation when a concerning pattern has emerged. This is serious and clear, but still hopeful. “This is a verbal warning.”
- Written Warnings – A formal correction that outlines expectations, consequences, and a timeline for change. “Here’s what needs to happen, by when.”
- 911 Warnings – A final, immediate warning when trust is broken or alignment is severely off. The expectation is urgent and non-negotiable. “This must change now — or we can’t move forward.”
These are not steps to work through in order. Think of them as tools in a toolbox — you pull out the one the situation calls for. The key is discernment, not default.
Highlighted below are stories from leaders living this out — experiencing the hardship, courage, and wins of leaning in.
The Heart of Repetitive, Relational Coaching
“Touch third, Luke. You’ve got to touch the base before you run.” Luke didn’t do it.
The leader felt frustrated. Embarrassed even. Like a broken record standing on a dusty Little League field. Next inning? Same reminder. Same miss. Again and again.
“I was saying the same thing every time he got out there. Over and over. And honestly, I was annoyed. Like — how many times do I have to say this?” Then it hit him — mid-game, mid-reminder. “This is what coaching actually is. It’s not about saying something once and walking away. It’s about presence. Repetition. Faithfulness.” That small moment on a baseball diamond cracked open a much bigger truth.
“I expect grown adults to get things after one conversation. One correction. But this showed me — people don’t need more instructions. They need more reminders. And they need us close.”
Coaching Insight: The Kingdom way isn’t fast or flashy. It’s consistent. Coaching is repeating what matters most — not because they’re not listening, but because they’re still learning. Jesus does this with us. Again and again, He stays close, speaks gently, and reminds us who we are.
Patterns Matter More Than Performances
He said it plainly: “I did this for over a year.” A leader confessed to watching a team member swing between solid performance and slip-ups — up, then down again. Every dip was met with a strong talk: “Get it together.” And they would — for a week or two.
He felt like he was giving grace. But the truth?
“I wasn’t helping them grow. I was managing volatility. And it was hurting the team.”
Eventually, other team members began to withhold — unsure which version of their teammate would show up. And the leader realized something sobering: he had become part of the problem.
That’s when he stepped in with documentation, with follow-through, with clarity. Not as punishment. But as protection. For the person. For the team. For the mission.
Coaching Insight: When correction is casual or undocumented, team members don’t feel the gravity — and the culture suffers quietly. Clarity is kindness.
When Performance Isn’t Enough
“I don’t care how good of a builder you are. If you can’t fix your attitude and become a team player, you can’t stay here.”
The leader’s voice caught slightly as he told the story. He remembered feeling torn — the builder’s task performance was top-tier, almost untouchable. The temptation to overlook behavior for the sake of results was real. But there was something deeper at stake.
“I was afraid. Afraid of losing someone who got the job done. But even more than that — I was afraid of what his attitude was doing to our team.”
This wasn’t a dramatic blow-up moment. It was a quiet, clarifying decision. A moment of Kingdom conviction: “Excellence without unity isn’t excellence here.” That 911 conversation wasn’t about punishment — it was an invitation to real transformation. And it may have been the most loving thing that leader could have done.
Coaching Insight: In a Kingdom culture, character matters more than competence. Correction protects the team and calls individuals to higher ground.
When Letting Go Was the Most Loving Step
“There’s been times where people don’t do well here. And they land somewhere else and thrive…”
A leader shared this not with regret, but with revelation. Release isn’t easy, but it revealed something deeper.
“I had to realize, maybe I was trying to be their savior.”
As leaders, we can hold on too long — hoping, trying, believing that we can guide a team member to breakthrough. But what if we’re holding them back from something better? The humbling revelation came after a release: “God had another plan.”
Coaching Insight: Sometimes we hold on because we care — but also because we’re trying to control the outcome. Letting go can feel like loss, but in the Kingdom, it can be an act of trust. God may have a different assignment for them — and for us.
Why We Avoid Coaching and Correction — and Why We Can’t Afford To
Leaders named their barriers honestly:
- Fear of relational fallout
- Martyrdom (“It’s my fault as the leader…”)
- Overvaluing task results, undervaluing spiritual fruit
- Control (“What will happen to them if I let go?”)
- Disobedience disguised as grace
Kingdom Insight: When we avoid correction, we hinder the Spirit’s work in someone’s life. Truth isn’t cruel — silence is.
How Jesus Modeled Correction with Compassion
One leader sat quietly for a moment before sharing. “I always thought of correction as a hammer. Like confrontation meant conflict. But then I looked again at how Jesus corrected — and it stopped me in my tracks.”
He had been reading the Gospels not just devotionally, but as a leader — watching how Jesus dealt with misalignment, especially with His closest people. “Jesus rebuked Peter. But He didn’t yell. He didn’t humiliate. He told the truth — and stayed close. He warned the Pharisees with a ‘Woe to you,’ but it wasn’t a power move. It was heartbreak. He wept when they didn’t turn. He corrected because He loved them.”
The realization hit with quiet force:
“Jesus didn’t correct to control. He corrected to call people back to who they were meant to be. That’s the model. And I hadn’t been doing it that way.”
What would it look like to rebuke with sorrow instead of superiority? To say the hard thing not to win, but to rescue? To view correction not as a threat, but a lament?
Kingdom Insight: Jesus was full of truth and grace. He didn’t avoid correction — He led with it. But His goal was always restoration, never rejection. Kingdom coaching means we grieve the gap — and lovingly, clearly, call people into more.
Closing Challenge for Kingdom Leaders
++ What conversation have you been avoiding?
++ What pattern have you allowed to linger because “they mean well” or “they’re busy”?
++ What would happen if you trusted God enough to speak truth with courage?
Free Resources for the Journey
We’ve compiled a few key coaching tools used at Betenbough Companies to help you lead your teams in truth and love:
📘 Coaching Continuum Article from the Betenbough Companies Leader’s Guide
📄 Verbal Documentation Template
📄 Written Warning & 911 Warning Template
Courageous coaching isn’t about being harsh. It’s about being honest — for the sake of the Kingdom. Join us for the upcoming Kingdom Leadership Workshop for new perspective on Kingdom leadership principles like these! Get tickets, here.