Kingdom At Work
Every leader is familiar with challenge. The question isn’t whether the pressure of challenge exits but whether we’re carrying the right kind.
Meaningful work will challenge us. Deadlines, expectations, goals, decisions, and responsibility are all part of leadership. But not all pressure is created equal. There is a significant difference between healthy challenge and destructive stress, and understanding that difference can transform how we lead, work, and live.
The Fine Line Between Challenge and Striving
Randy Wilson, director of land strategy for Betenbough Homes, described a distinction many leaders wrestle with: “There’s a motivation, an internal pressure, when you’re working on something you’re equipped to do. Then there’s an outward performance when you’re trying to please other people or prove yourself.”
The two can feel similar, but their source is different.
Healthy challenge comes from stewarding the gifts, responsibilities, and opportunities God has given us. Striving comes from trying to earn approval, prove our worth, or become someone we think others want us to be.
One produces growth. The other produces exhaustion.
Stress Often Reveals an Identity Problem
Ty Stolp, director of construction support for Betenbough Homes, asks leaders to consider why healthy challenges sometimes turn into stress. “We hire high-performing people. Everyone here wants to perform well and be on winning teams. But identity is at the root of whether you’re operating in health or stress.”
When our identity is rooted in Christ, then difficult feedback, challenging goals, and high expectations can become opportunities for growth. We may feel stretched, but we don’t feel threatened.
Stress appears when we forget who we are. When our value becomes tied to performance, every success validates us and every failure diminishes us. The pressure is no longer about accomplishing a task; it becomes about protecting our identity.
Healthy challenge says, “My best will be enough.” Stress says, “If I fail, I will be a failure.”
Stop Labeling Everything as Pressure
Another way stress gains influence is through the labels we assign to circumstances. Cory Cisco, area director for Betenbough Homes, has learned to be careful not to label everything as pressure: “If we receive all feedback and expectation as pressure, then we reduce outcomes to good and bad, success and failure. But we can learn to take in everything as data, which is neutral. That’s a healthier approach.”
He tells the story of his eight-year-old son who loves baseball. Cory was sharing advice and encouragement, but his son asked, “Why are you so hard on me?” Cory was trying to participate in his son’s love of the game, but his son was labelling his dad’s coaching as pressure.
Like Cory’s son, many high achievers create their own internal pressure by attaching meaning to outcomes. But instead of seeing every result as a reflection of our value, we can view it as information that helps us learn, adjust, and grow.
Include God in the Process
Stress frequently appears when we begin carrying responsibilities that were never ours to carry. Kalee Rich, director of sales and marketing for Betenbough Homes, shares about her recent attendance at a Jeff Shore training. She could’ve carried the pressure of figuring out exactly what content needed to change the way her sales and marketing teams were functioning. Instead, she prayed that the Lord would highlight the takeaway that would be most valuable for the business. When a gentleman on stage at the event said the phrase, “incentive wars,” it jumped out to Kalee. She immediately recognized that was happening between Betenbough’s three Lubbock regions, and she knew what to do next. Kalee was faithful to include God, and He was faithful to guide her.
When leaders forget God’s role in the workplace, they often assume responsibility for outcomes that are beyond their control. But peace returns when we remember a simple truth: God controls the outcome. We control our obedience. We do our part. God does His.
Much of leadership anxiety comes from confusing those roles. Scripture reminds us: “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). The burden feels lighter when we stop carrying what belongs to God.
Stress Is a Signal, Not an Enemy
Lora Robertson, area director for Betenbough Homes, reframes stress as something valuable. “Stress is really a signal,” she shares.
Our bodies often reveal what our hearts are carrying before our minds recognize it. Tight shoulders. Restless sleep. Increased frustration. Mental fatigue. These aren’t merely inconveniences; they are invitations to pause and pay attention.
A healthy challenge should leave us feeling:
- Motivated
- Focused
- Encouraged
- Equipped
Unhealthy stress leaves us:
- Frantic
- Crushed
- Paralyzed
- Overwhelmed
The difference matters.
Stress can reveal areas where we need support, prayer, conversation, or a renewed perspective. Leaders can bring those signals to the Lord and to trusted friends.
Be Humble Enough to Ask for Help
Cal Zant, president of Betenbough Homes, highlights another common source of stress: trying to carry everything alone. He asks, “When’s the last time someone asked you something and you responded, ‘I don’t know. Can you help me with that?'”
Many leaders struggle to admit limitations. They assume strength means always having answers.
But refusing help isn’t humility. It’s often pride disguised as competence.
Healthy leaders remain self-aware enough to recognize when they’ve picked up responsibilities God never asked them to carry.
A Better Way Forward
Meaningful work challenges us to grow into who God created us to be. Stress appears when we try to become someone He never asked us to be. As leaders, let’s commit to:
• Remember who we are in Christ
• Recognize what belongs to us and what belongs to God
• Have the humility to ask for help
• Refuse to let outcomes determine our worth
• Notice the gap between who God created us to be and who we think we need to become to be accepted
The next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask yourself: “Am I carrying the weight of an assignment I’m equipped to do, or am I carrying the weight of my entire identity?” The answer may reveal everything.
For more information on identity, check out What is “The Kingdom” in Kingdom at Work?, Spiritual Leadership: What Am I Agreeing To?, and Work as Worship: Reclaiming Our Divine Purpose.
Join us for the next Kingdom Leadership Workshop to learn more about leadership from a Kingdom perspective!