Loving Your People Well

[00:00:00] for this day. Um, just be here with us, father. We don’t want to hear from me. This is, these are not my words. These are your words. You’re teaching us today. Um, we just want to love each other. Well, uh, so show us what that looks like for each one of us. And we just thank you for the opportunity to be together around this lunch hour together in Jesus name.

Amen. Um, so. For me, a good place to start is maybe a foundation here for loving your people. Well, which is, you know, God created everything around us. And, and he did that really with a command oriented language, let there be light. He said, that’s a, he commanded that with his voice. Um, and then it came to us and he said.

Let us make man in our image. And [00:01:00] that is different language. That’s, that’s clearly something different. God is handmade us. Uh, we are handcrafted even. And. He loves us. If you ever, if you’ve ever handcrafted something, then you, uh, know how much you love that. Maybe you’ve had a baby, when you have a baby, you know how much you love that baby.

And God really loves us deeply. And we are the most precious thing in his creation. It’s, it’s all amazing creation, but we are the most precious. You and I are his favorite thing in his creation. And that’s, compelling and inspiring and encouraging for me. But it also reminds me that that’s true. The other people around me, they’re his people.

They’re not my people. The people that God sends to me around me, either under my leadership or just nearby, they don’t belong to me. Um, Moses said this. David said this, Solomon prayed, [00:02:00] Lord, would you help me lead these people? Would you help me govern these people that are yours? Jesus said it. I didn’t lose any of your people that you sent to me.

And so for me, that’s a sobering thing. I, the first time I remember the first time I really, the weight of that settled on me that, man, these aren’t my people. These are, these are your people, Lord. And so I should handle them with care. And so what does that look like, uh, generally? And I’ll tell you, the first thing is I can’t really love or care about people as much as I should.

I don’t know them. Do you really know the people that are around you and leaders, business owners? Do you really know the people, you know, we can spend a lot of time working together and do a lot of stuff and, and just not knowing a dang thing about each other. Do you know what really [00:03:00] inspires the people that work with you or for you?

Do you know what they dream about, what they do on the weekends, their family members, names? Uh, do we, are we engaged with them really personally in that way? Do we, have we really taken the energy and effort to get to know them? And I’m just always struck by the fact that when we start doing that, amazing things are going to happen.

You ever watch undercover boss where a big boss goes? You know, out of the office and into the field and meets the people that are doing all the work and discovers, wow, this is a real person with real stuff going on and they’re not a name on a spreadsheet anymore. It just changes everything about the way they think about them and about the way they engage with them and honestly, the way they care about them.

And same thing on a vision trip or a mission trip. If you’ve ever gone overseas to Africa, you get to know these people and it changes everything. And so couldn’t do that right [00:04:00] here in the middle of our work, in the middle of our life with people, you know, it’s, uh, it’s true that friendships, you know, you’re going to have coffee, uh, a friend, and you’re going to talk about everything and you’re going to get to know them.

And we have a tool in our business that I want to share with you called a one on one. Um, it’s not something that everybody has to do. Everybody does it, has to do it exactly the same way, but, you know, We want leaders in our enterprise to really know the people. And there’s only one way to do that. You’ve got to make room for it.

You got to create a, a weekly rhythm of meeting with people and each person that I’m leading, I meet with them every week and. What I want to know is what are you thinking about? How are you doing? Uh, this is not, you know, just business or just personal. It’s whatever they want to talk about. It’s, it’s my desire to get to know them so that I can help them so that I can, I’m not trying to be nosy and I’m not going to [00:05:00] know everything.

It’s not about that, but it is about, I will, I will, something happens in me and I will begin to care and love someone. The more I get to know them, and that is a very important part of this. Do you, do you know the people around you and they know the people you’re meeting really well? Because the next part of that is I, I want to help them grow, um, specifically if I’m leading them and, and really the same is true even if I’m just friends with them or, you know, and influencing them.

I want to help them be the best they can be. You know, early in my leadership, leading people, I wanted people to grow, but I confess. You know, I had an agenda. It was, I wanted them to be able to give the organization their best and I wanted to grow them for really, let’s say like it is for my purposes. And God began to deal with me on that point.

invited me to stop thinking like that, to, uh, to grow them up for their benefit. In fact, [00:06:00] specifically to develop them for their highest and best use for God’s purposes. Um, I’ll never forget where I really learned this lesson in a big way. It’s probably been, I don’t know, 10 years ago or something. Uh, James was on my leadership team.

He was a CFO, been with us for 10 years at the time. And he came to me one day and said, Rick, I think the board’s inviting me to start my own business. And I said, yeah. Okay, business owners, be honest, you probably had a little check in the moment and I didn’t tell him like, Oh, I, the first thing I thought was, wow, I’m honored that he would have the courage and that we have enough relationship that he would tell me that, uh, you know, it’s like some tough thing to tell your boss if you’re thinking about another business, but also instantly, if I’m totally honest, a little, you know, the competitive, uh, Marketplace business guy and me sort of, you know, went up [00:07:00] and then he said, I said, well, what, what kind of business changed?

And he said, well, a home building business. And then, you know, my, my flesh, especially clicked up a notch. I mean, that’s the business we were in, you know, and I said, where? And he said, right here in Lulava. And again, my, all of my competitiveness and my, you know, You know, just, I’m just a man and a leader that all just kind of, the alarm was going off and then immediately, I remember the Lord saying to me, this is James, whom you love.

He came to us from the restaurant business and everything he knew about the building business, he learned from us, a lot of it from me. And so I had to share in this amazing growth that he’d had. And now he was going to go out and establish a business. And I need to be excited about that. And [00:08:00] instantly I was, and it totally pushed out all the other things.

And I remembered what a blessing it is to help someone go somewhere, even if they leave and the rest of our team is going to take a note from that. I mean, if I’d been competitive or. angry about that. The rest of the team was gonna get in line behind me. But instead I said, Hey, this is James and I’m excited for him and we should be excited for him.

And the last day he was with us, our whole management team. Gathered around him, prayed for him, and blessed him, and sent him to his new business with our blessing. And I just, I can’t emphasize enough how much, how much power there was in that. Some kind of release. We were excited for him, that he was going to do that.

And nobody was thinking, [00:09:00] we’re losing out or, you know, God is my provider, not the marketplace. God has enough for us and for James. We were And over the next years and James and I have made friends and I’ve gotten to walk with him and help him, not for my benefit, but for his benefit. And that is the way we should be.

We’ve got to help people realize their highest potential for God’s purposes, not for our own. Um,

and we got to expect that we’re going to raise some people up or help some people. It’s the next thing and we’re not going to benefit from that other than the joy of having a share in that. And there is much joy in that. Um, you know, one of the things that I think is really important about really loving [00:10:00] people.

Well, true love means that we’re going to tell the truth. To people you know who needs a friend that just tells you what you want to hear. You want a friend that really helps you think about how to be better. Um, I’m just always blown away by somebody who supports a friend when they’re in the middle of something they shouldn’t be doing, and instead of gently and carefully.

helping them find the right pathway to the right thing. And I think sometimes we think that loving people well means that we don’t tell them the truth. You know, there’s a lot of grace. We, we don’t want to go into that. Um, or the flip side of that, we tell them too much truth or in too harsh of a way. And so I want to contrast that, maybe put some words to that.

And I like to think of the truth is so important, but let’s do it in a developmental way instead of a judgmental way. This is a powerful distinction here, [00:11:00] you know, a developmental way. says I want to build you up. I want to call you up. I want to help you be better. And I’m excited for you to get around or over or through whatever this obstacle is, um, and be better on the other side of it.

I’m for you. Uh, judgment or a judgmental approach is, well, you saw this is not good. It’s, it crushes, it tears down, it closes off people. And that truth is important, but we get it. We’ve got to shift our own mind and our heart and the way we communicate it become developmental, right? You know, we had a little party with a bunch of kids over at the pool a few weeks ago and, you know, as it’s going to be, kids running around and, you know, you find yourself saying, stop doing that.

Don’t do that. And even myself. Then my little granddaughter, Naomi, does something and I, [00:12:00] instead I go over to her and kneel down and look into her eyes and say, Naomi, if you want to have friends, you gotta be a good friend. You gotta share. Don’t shoot everybody in the face with a water gun constantly. Uh, You wouldn’t want that, right?

And she said, no, I wouldn’t. And I said, so you want them to be excited about you and be your friend and you got to be a good friend. And that was really good developmental feedback. And I went back and sat on my chair and I thought, why did I say, stop, we’ll go to kids and say that whole thing to her? And I realized it’s because I really love her.

And so I need to be developmental. And then I thought, well, actually I need to be developmental with everyone, you know, so this is kind of a silly example for us parents or grandparents, but we don’t do this very well with our friends or people that were leading at times. We’re going to do that well with people we love.

We should do, we should do it with the people that are around us and really love [00:13:00] them well, God is not going to hold us accountable to the stuff that we did. He’s going to hold us accountable to the people that we love and how well we love them, I believe that. And as a critical distinction here, we’ve got to be developmental and delivering that truth, not judgmental.

Um,

and that’s a barrier sometimes for us, you know, another barrier, Our obstacle that I want to talk about for a minute here, that is pretty powerful, something that Lord has done recently in my life, and it is that forgiveness, giving forgiveness and asking forgiveness is something we just aren’t very good at.

You know, uh, I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2021 in [00:14:00] October. I got deficient diagnosis and, uh, my doctor at the time, or still my doctor, Amazing guy at one point said, Rick, do you think that there’s some unforgiveness in your heart? You know, unforgiveness can be a barrier to healing. Uh, we won’t carry it around.

I, I, uh, hadn’t really thought of that very much. And as I was thinking about that, I, my mind went back to April that year. That was in October of 21. My mind went back to April that year. When I got a text from a friend, and this, that text came before I knew about the cancer, and uh, his text, early in the morning, said, Rick, I was praying for you today, and out of the blue, I started getting this picture in my mind, of a tree stump cut off, but not dug up.[00:15:00]

And he said, I asked the Lord, you know, is that for Rick, or for me, or what is that? He said, the Lord said, no, it’s the Rick. And he said, well, what, what is the message you have for Rick? And in his text, he said that the message for me was that the Lord was going to gently walk with me while I dug up some things that I had cut off, but not completely removed, and that that was going to purify me and sanctify me for this, for the next season of my life.

Now at the time that was powerful, but I didn’t know what it meant exactly. But on that October day, standing there at my doctor, I realized. That that text was directly related to this forgiveness thing. And that’s what God was talking about. I have prided myself on, you know, I don’t hold grudges. I cut things off and move on.

And I just realized that didn’t dig them up completely [00:16:00] in that October, November, December timeframe, 21, I was. really getting sick from the cancer. Um, I had a lot of jaundice. Uh, my whole body turned yellow and I was itching all over and I just didn’t get much sleep for a couple of months, a couple of hours a night of sleep.

And so I just started asking the Lord about who do I have unforgiveness Lord? There’s some people. And he immediately started bringing faces to my mind, the early faces. I was like, well, yeah, yeah, I do have some unforgiveness and I don’t want that anymore. I want it. I want it. Forgive them completely. And so the Lord started talking to me about that.

He reminded me that, you know, to forgive somebody completely, I gotta forget whatever they did, whatever was the offense. Can’t even think about it anymore. God loves us, He’s forgiven us completely, and He’s forgotten the things that we’ve done. That’s the way His forgiveness works. [00:17:00] And could we forgive like that?

Wow. I started thinking about that, trying to cast a that out of my heart. And I found that I could do that. I could start forgiving people and those faces go away. But occasionally if they come back to my mind, I’d say, well, Lord, I thought we talked about him or her last night. I feel like I that faces just come back is good.

And I said, so you want me to What, reach out to them, talk to them, and sure enough, he was inviting me to start having some meetings and making some phone calls, and, um, I remember calling a guy that I had some unforgiveness for, and telling him that I wouldn’t forgive him completely, and I couldn’t even remember, I was catching it in my heart, anything about the [00:18:00] circumstance.

And I didn’t have anything in my heart for him anymore except love. And I realized in that moment that it was true, and it had not been true a minute before, that it happened as I did it. As I gave him that unforgiveness, or gave him that forgiveness completely, it really happened in my heart. And I had a dream the next night of a backpack full of rocks.

And I was taking those rocks out as I really let go of things and forgave people. Now some of those phone calls where I need to call somebody and say, Hey, I know that I hurt you and I’m sorry. Would you please forgive me? And the Lord reminded me through that again, This is not continue on what they say or do.

This is for me. He’s, he’s allowing me to take these rocks out of my backpack to shed this burden, [00:19:00] um, and gosh, it was amazing, you know, that guy that I called, he called me a couple of weeks later, and he said, wow, Rick, I, I have not been able to get that call out of my mind, in fact, it was so compelling, and I realized I had a few phone calls to make it myself, and I just had to tell you that, and, wow, the power of You know, our father who art in him give us this day our daily bread, forgive us our trespasses and forgive those who trespass against us.

This is something straight from Jesus that is a critical thing. It’s powerful. It’s for us. It sets us free, it takes weight off of us, and it has the power, if the other person will allow it, to set them free. And it creates a way for us to truly love in a much deeper and different way. Um, [00:20:00] a funny extension of that was a couple of these.

The Lord started just really giving me appointments. This was a crazy thing that happened for two or three months. Where everywhere I’d go in a grocery store, there’s somebody who I knew I had something with and I’m like, Lord, I haven’t seen them in a couple of years. Are you? Yes. And so I get to go over and have this conversation.

Can’t hide behind the apples. I gotta go face it, ask for forgiveness or give unconditional forgiveness in that moment. And I just, it went on and on and on. It was just out of the blue. Somebody would be standing there, or I’d have an invitation to talk to somebody, or somebody would come to their mind, to my mind, and it’s, gosh, y’all, it turned out to be 20 or 30 people.

I started keeping track of them, and this is a, this is almost like cleaning out of my heart. You know, at one point [00:21:00] I got a picture of a field of stumps cut off and not dug up, and that’s a pretty hard field to navigate in, and I, I say all this to you, but even as I’m saying it, if someone is coming to your mind, pay attention to that.

Is there someone you need to go reconcile with? Maybe someones, and it’s in the way of what God wants to do going forward. I remember a couple of these faces. I said, Lord, I really feel like I’ve forgiven him completely, but why do they keep covering up? He said, empty your pockets, Rick. And I’m like, okay, I’ll pull out my pockets, you know, I’ve got a picture of me pulling out my pockets.

And then, see, Lord, except that a little rock falls out onto the ground. And I’m like, oh, I guess there was a little something left there. Um, and of late, it translates into going forward. You know, it’s one thing to forgive and ask forgiveness in arrears. It’s another thing to stay in that [00:22:00] condition as you get up, don’t pick up offenses.

You know, I’m maybe the worst driving. Somebody cuts me off because this and I get talking to them, you know, they can’t hear me. Maybe you’d like this to And I’ve gotten in and out of saying, wow, Lord, I don’t want to take that. I feel inside. In fact, I’m going to back up, give them room and I forgive them right now.

I cast that in my heart. Uh, this is true with meetings or any kind of encounters. I found myself reminding myself, even as I’m picking it up, nope, set that back down. I’m not going to pick up an offense there. I’m going to forgive him. Um, I’m going to, I’m going to, I’m not ever going to let that even into my heart.

Unforgiveness in your heart. Is fallow ground for the enemy to sow disease. You need to hear that. God didn’t put this cancer in me, [00:23:00] but maybe I made a deal with the devil when I agreed to take offenses and to take things the wrong way and not give forgiveness and not ask forgiveness. And I feel got clogged up with cutoff stumps.

Don’t let that be you. This is a powerful way for us to embrace. That we must love people. If this is in the way of that, you know, I found that some of these people that I really thought had offended me irrevocably. You know, uh, how am I ever going to really love them? And I found myself in a place where I really do love them.

I really can be in a relationship with them. And I never thought that was possible. Um, but it’s possible. You can set this stuff down. Um, [00:24:00] you can really love people well on the other side of that. Um, I apologize for all the emotion y’all, but this is really deep. Um, I’ll just tell you that this last pour out close with this.

I remember distinctly in our business at the time a few years ago when I knew the Lord was really working on me to make this transition to really loving people for their benefit, raising them up for their benefit and not my own. And I remember a conversation with Holly, and my wife Holly, many of y’all probably know her, is really good at this.

She’s, she loves people well, naturally. Sometimes I think she’s made of love, and so she has had a strong [00:25:00] impact on me in this area. I might say, she’s been working on me pretty good. The Lord’s been using her to work on me pretty good over the years in this way. And I remember having a conversation with her about it.

And I said, I know what the Lord wants. He wants me to really deeply love these people. But what if the truth is that I don’t? And she said, Wow, I think that’s going to be a problem. Maybe you need to ask the Lord to break your heart for these people. And I thought, Wow, that’s an interesting strategy. And together, we immediately, she and I together, I just prayed, Lord, I want to love these people that I lead well and deeply.

Would you break my heart for them? Would you give me deep empathy and understanding? And listen, y’all, you better not pray that. [00:26:00] Amen. Unless you’re ready for it to happen. This is maybe God’s favorite request. I mean, I think he loves any kind of request and he honors a lot of them. This maybe is one of his favorites when, when his son or daughter asks for this.

Would you help me love your people deeper and better? Would you break my heart for them? I think the Lord says, yeah, I will. You got it. I’m gonna give you that gift right now. And so. I think this is something that we’ve got to aspire to and ask for. And listen, I’ll just tell you, I got to pray this prayer more regularly than just once.

I got to pray this prayer most days or frequently. Remind myself this is the way it should be. Every time I do recommit to this. And, uh, I think that [00:27:00] is for me the most powerful component to this. It has changed me in that way drastically. Um, so. Thank you all for being here. And, uh, I think we’re going to do some questions, Amanda.

Thank you, Rick. That was so good. You know, one of the things he said, I think that all of us can probably write on our heart is we’ll be accountable, not for what we do, but for how we love people. So that was really powerful. Hey, if you, um, came in late, We would love to take the rest of this time to do Q& A down at the bottom of the screen.

There’s a Q& A that you can type in questions. So we’ve already received a few. First question, Rick, that we’d love to hear your wisdom on. What are some practical ways that you loved your people in the early days of your business? [00:28:00] Well,

the team directly around me and early on, we, uh, we, we started getting together and doing things together outside of the work and just getting to know them. I mean, I, that I can’t emphasize that enough, um, making it, you know, just, I got to get to know these people, uh, spend some time with them outside of work and start asking them what they’re passionate about, what their dreams are.

You know, especially for us leaders. Owners of businesses. Um, it’s probably true that you have people working for you around you that they want to go do something else. They’re doing whatever they’re doing, but their dream is to, you know, maybe they’re here on your accounting team, but their dream is to be a pilot someday.

And when you discover that, do [00:29:00] you say, well, how can I help you get to that dream? Um, that’s really what we’re talking about here. When I get to know people well, my, my desire is to help them go where they want to go or where God wants him to go, not where I want him to go or for my purposes. I’m gonna trust the Lord that he’ll bring another account along if I help somebody find their way to what they really want to do.

Um, you know, we found another CFO as we move James out and God provided and it’s, you know, we just gotta, we gotta go get to know people and we gotta, you know, you Walking through our coffee shop, I see people, you know, sitting at tables and everybody’s on the phone. Uh, you know, the art of just really talking with each other and get to know each other is seemingly lost sometimes.

Um, what do you know about the person? Standing right there in front of [00:30:00] you. And so I, I think, uh, you start there, you start with Lord break my heart for him and you start to get to know people and the rest will, it’ll come. You’ll it’s, it’s going to start, uh, right away. I, I, it’s a reminder. I love is one of those things.

It’s a hard thing to characterize. You know, I love pizza. I love my. Wife and I love God. Those are all kind of different. You know, we got one love and, uh, I think love in the marketplace starts with, do I really care about you? Or more than what you can do for me? I think that’s a good place to start. Even, you know, do I really care about my friends?

Not just, you know, in passing, but really deeply. Do I really care about the people that I lead? And do I care enough to help them go where they want to go?

I hope that answered that question well. [00:31:00] Yeah, that was really good. Thank you, Rick. So we have quite a few more. Um, if you have questions, keep asking. Thank you guys. Um, the next question we have is as a business leader, how do you make time in your schedule with all that you’re in charge of? to do these practical loving your people things that you’re saying?

Wow, that’s a great question. I figured that question was coming. Uh, you know, for me, a powerful transition was an understanding that the people that I lead, they are my mission, that the job that needs to be done is their mission. What if I thought of it like that? What if I realized that I want them to do the jobs and they are my job?

That is a very different way to think about it. I think lots of times [00:32:00] out there, the leader is kind of towing people along or, and we’re doing the job together. Now, I don’t think that’s wrong, but the more we can think of the things that need to be done as their job and my job is to care for them, make sure they have everything they need, uh, make sure they’re, they’re healthy and the way they’re spending their time.

You know, um, one of the, you know, one of the things. Awards for people to go home. You know, to read them loud, don’t, don’t stay connected as I’m watching for people who are working too much or too hard and need to find somebody else to bring in and help them or they are, or they’re struggling because they don’t have everything they need.

You know, I want as a leader, I want to shift from transnational to relational in my style. I want to be more focused on my relationship with them. What do they need? How can I help them do this job more than, Let’s do this job [00:33:00] together. How can I help you do this job? What do you need from me? And I’m going to focus on you.

I’m watching out for you. Um, this is going to take some rethinking and maybe some reorganization to pull that off, but it’s, it’s worth it. Uh, you know, if, if my business is going to be God’s ministry, formerly known as my business, And it’s going to be about his people. And, um, I may invest dollars that I gave away previously to this cause or that cause, I’m going to invest them in our business, um, for our people, you know, I’m going to, I’m going to try to keep teams smaller so that they can, the leader of that team can really get to know everybody.

We, in our business, we like to think that the leader can really only lead in this way, five or six people. If you’re leading 10 or 12 people, you just can’t. really get to know them and really care for them as [00:34:00] deeply as I think God wants us to. Uh, and so you’re gonna have to reorganize and that’s what that requires.

And so over the years, that’s what we do. We just, when a team gets too big for a leader to really know and lead that team well, then we’re going to reorganize. So that’s how we think about that. All right. Good stuff. Thank you, Rick. All right, several questions you answered in your last, um, answer on that question.

So way to go, Rick. Way to be prophetic on your answer. Uh, next question we have is, um, along the lines you hit on it just a moment ago, how do you balance the idea of maintaining high standards in your business while avoiding the transactional relationships? Well, we’re, I’m going to walk with people and they do their job right and I’m going to, [00:35:00] it’s my job to make sure that job is being done not to do that job to make sure that job is being done.

And to, you know, to, to make sure that it’s done well, and done the way it needs to be done, you know that the result, not so much in how, I mean we try to I need to give people room to for the how to be a little different, but the result has to be what we need. Right. Um, and so I’m going to, I’m going to walk with him in that way.

And I’m going to know how it’s going and how their team is and what the result is. And I’m going to coach as I go. That’s something that I don’t think people do very well. Sometimes we, we are inconsistent in our coaching or in our adjusting. Um, you know, if you’re, you’re going to, I’m going to fly from Lubbock to Denver, uh, plane, how many, how many little minute adjustments am I going to have to make?

To get there, to get from here to there. Thousands, [00:36:00] maybe hundreds of thousands of little left and right turns, right? Those little adjustments, those little one degree corrections. You know, two people, if I’m walking along with somebody that I’m leading, and we’re not in a relationship with enough frequency and proximity, and I’m not connected to that, and I’m not making little adjustments, and we go little one degree corrections as we go, then, over even a short period of time, a month or two, we can get pretty far apart.

So we, we have, we want to build a rhythm of small one degree corrections as we go. They’re casual, hey, uh, maybe we should try this, or do you know how that sounds? Or that result is, is that exactly what we’re looking for? You know, we just need to make small, so we don’t have to make big swings because we haven’t been making those little adjustments.

Um, I remember interviewing somebody for a [00:37:00] management role on our team a few years ago, and we were talking about the style of leadership and, uh, got a kick out of this leader that was tough. It was trying to get a job and said, you know, I meet with the people I lead twice a year, whether they need it or not.

And I laughed and thought, you know. How much, how well would your relationship be going if you meet with your wife, you know, once a year to talk through things, or once a month, or, I mean, that’s got to be a lot more frequent than that for that to be effective, right? Um, I’ve got to be walking with you. And, I mean, God went with Moses.

He gave him a big job to drag all these Israelites through. You know, out of Egypt to the promised land, but God went with him and, uh, guiding him as he went along. And he didn’t just send him. He didn’t say, Moses, go get them and I’ll meet you in the promised land. And God went with him and guided him as they went along.

And I [00:38:00] think that’s a clue for us about how this should be. They need our support and our presence and our encouragement. Good people that are treasured and cared about do good things, great things. That’s my experience. When somebody really cared for and cared about, um, they’re going to care and do things well.

And when they aren’t, you’re going to, you’re going to help them find something else. You know, you’re going to know, you’re going to use truth, you’re going to lead with truth. This is, this is what we need to do or this to continue or, or I’m going to invite you to do something else. I mean, we got to do this as we go.

Really good. Thanks, Rick. And for some great marriage advice, don’t meet with your spouse twice a year.

So on the lines of what you were just [00:39:00] saying, um, we had someone ask, um, number one, just they really appreciate all this information and how great it is to hear. Um, but can you talk about a specific way that God has manifested, um, you loving people in your business and maybe a story to go along with that?

Well, gosh, truth is over the years, I’ve got, you know, a thousand of those, um, you know, very, I remember a few, this has happened a few times where someone was just really struggling in their role. I just realized that I wasn’t closely connected to him enough. And I went and said, what’s going on? What’s really going on?

Um, do that in a, in a developmental way, as I talked about, not going and saying, this is not working, you know, that, that’s a, that’s a judgmental way for this to go. I haven’t been walking with them as well, as [00:40:00] closely as I should. They’ve been doing whatever they’ve been doing. And now we’ve come to a place where it’s a mess.

And now I’m in that judgmental moment. It’s not working. You’re not doing this. You can’t do this. We’re going to move on. And truth is, I haven’t done my job as a leader. I haven’t walked with him closely enough and made these fine, these coaching adjustments. I’ve got a friend in Kansas City. Home builder and, uh, been walking with him closely for a few years.

And he had a man working for him at, um, they thought though that he’s just not going to make this transition. We transition, he just can’t make the transition. And, uh, he said, but I’m going to start talking to him and engage with him in a different way. They initiated one on ones and they started meeting weekly and just in a hurry in a month after three or four of those.

Just all this stuff started coming out and this employee started having a different [00:41:00] view thing, a different attitude. And I remember a conversation with my, I didn’t, I wasn’t talking to him frequently enough to hear about this, but he, he called me and said, man, I’ve been doing these one on ones now with Harry for about a month and a half.

And I have a completely different view. This guy can do this job. I realized that it wasn’t his fault. It was my fault. Is what the leader, my friend in the city said, I’m embarrassed and I’m ashamed that I wasn’t leading him well enough. And I’m convicted that a lot of times operational failures are the leader’s fault.

Not because jobs not being done, but because they’re not engaged with them and job being done the right way. We gotta go with these people. So, uh, I mean, I can’t say it enough. [00:42:00] We find that people are, they love having a one on one with their leader. Um, having that time to talk about how things are going, what’s going on is something that just doesn’t happen in the marketplace.

Everybody, everybody wants to know how they’re doing. Uh, where are we going? Do I get to go? I mean, that’s, you know, that’s fundamental truth. Um, people, people join companies and causes, but they quit bosses. That’s the truth. And so don’t be a boss, be a leader, um, a relational developmental leader, and you won’t believe what happens to the people and how much better they are than you thought they were going to be.

Thank you for [00:43:00] that, Rick. Appreciate that. So in your opinion, is it more challenging to continue to show love as an organization grows? Or is it easier since many have caught the vision? No, it’s harder. The bigger the crowd gets, you know, the more difficult it is to do this. That’s why, as I said earlier, you really got to break, as the organization grows, it’s especially important to break up into smaller groups to really organize that way.

You know, in 1995, being both homes was, you know, like 12 of us. It was a small group, uh, you know, had a couple of leaders and we were engaged with each other every day and deeply. And, you know, today with 350 or 375 employees, [00:44:00] that’s not as easy. Um, but it’s still, what we do is we just break it down into 50 of those little teams and, you know, my job is to lead those leaders who are leading those teams.

leaders who are leading those teams. And, uh, it’s a cascading style, we call it, where I’m going to have, I’m going to lead a small group and each one of them is going to lead a small group and each one of them is going to lead a small group, et cetera. And, uh, we’re going to, we’re going to, we’re going to engage with our people deeply so that no one is left behind.

That’s the key. I can’t personally have a relationship like that or a meeting like that with every single person, but someone can, their leaders can do that. And so my job is to make sure that that leader is, is strengthened and encouraged by me so that they have encouragement and are full so that they can give that to the people that are leading.[00:45:00]

Thank you, Rick. A lot more. So keep them coming y’all. Great questions. Hey, this is such a good question. I think is on everybody’s minds. Thanks for asking this. How do you handle one on ones with your team of the opposite sex? It’s certainly tricky. It’s uh, this is a big topic around here and everywhere we talk about this.

It’s a big topic, uh, or a big concern and it’s fair and right to be concerned about this. We are going to have to have some boundaries that are a little different. Um, today I lead four people and one of those is, is a lady and you know, I have one on ones in my home with the guys or, or in some cases in an office and With her, we do it in a public setting.

That’s the first thing. That’s, that’s respectful and appropriate for my, my, for me [00:46:00] and for her. Um, I have a good relationship, a very good relationship with her husband and he knows that we do this and she has a great relationship with my wife. And we’re, there’s just some things that I might talk about with a man that I’m leaning and that I’m not going to talk about with her.

I’m going to have to defer that, you know, uh, and invite her to find someone else to talk to you about that. It doesn’t mean I can’t still know her and her family and her dreams and hopes and what’s going on. I can, we can still have that, but I do have to have some boundaries and we are careful about that.

Uh, so you got, you know, if you go down this road, the Lord will show you. That’s for sure. You know, we, there was a time when we said, Lord, we’ve got to show us how to do this that way. And, uh, and of course, Gina, the person I’m talking about here, has been leading in our company here for 14 or [00:47:00] 15 years, whatever it is.

And she’s led lots of men over the years. And she’s made it a point to get to know their wives and have relations with them. And we’re going to do that in a public space. And we’re going to be careful about boundaries.

for insight on that. How do you practically care for your people outside of the workplace? Well, personally, the people that I lead, I have a really strong relationship with them and we have hobbies, things that we do together. Um, you know, I, I consciously try to find something that we can do. outside of work together.

And so I have a real genuine personal relationship with the people I lead, in addition to the professional relationship that we have. And I know there are going to be people who say, man, if you have a personal relationship, that [00:48:00] sure makes it hard. The correct or even part company, if that’s if such a thing were to happen, and I disagree.

I think relationship, uh, trumps everything. We have a strong relationship that paves the way for developmental conversation. I mean, I, I, and it goes both ways. The people I lead, every one of them has come to me many times over the years, uh, with pain. Is that the right thing? What, you know, they, where they correct me, they, they guide me and I, it goes both ways, but the relationship is the foundation of that and makes that work.

I can’t imagine doing this outside of strong relationship. I feel like that’s where this can feel judgmental and cold and harshing. Um, yes, I have had to release good friends from our business. I sure have people who I love and [00:49:00] had deep relationship with. That makes it harder. It does in some ways, but, um, I do my very best at this point to do that in such a way that we’re gonna maintain a relationship if at all possible.

Beyond this, I do have good friends don’t work there anymore. They either left or I let them go. And we are, you know, not everybody’s supposed to be here. And if that’s, if we’ve done the right thing, you know, sometimes it’s seasons in somebody’s life that prevents him from doing the job. Well, sometimes they’re just not qualified anymore for that role or something changes.

And, you know, we have to just do something different, but I can’t imagine doing that outside of relationship. So there you go. All right. Thank you for that. Hey, we have three more questions. And you just started a great intro for this next question, Rick, with what you just answered. [00:50:00] How do you love well in the middle of a disagreement when there doesn’t seem like there can be an agreement?

Well, the first thing is, you know, I got, I got to be collaborative, which means I’ve got to be open to the other opinion. And I might start with a really strong opinion and they have a strong opinion and we’re going to come together. And if that gets. to be really unhealthy. We try to take a break, step away from that.

We’re not praying for the Lord to give us peace or favor in that. And, you know, we’re gonna give that some time to rest. Um, you know, ultimately, if it’s a disagreement with somebody working directly for me and, you know, I’m gonna ask the Lord how important this is and what and, you know, we’re just gonna work through that.

And we’re going to have a posture of [00:51:00] humility and collaboration. Um, it doesn’t, everything doesn’t have to be my way. And first thing I want to say is, Lord, I, I’m, I feel strongly entrenched in this, but do I need a different perspective? Is there something I need to, you know, I’ve started a prayer for somebody lots of times thinking, I’m going to pray for them, Lord, would you, would you change their heart?

Would you? And all of a sudden I realized, well, it said, Hey. I want to change your heart. Your heart needs to change in this spot, in this moment. And that has happened a few times. And all of a sudden I have a different perspective to bring to that. I also find that if I have enough relationship with them and they know I really care about them and I want the best for them, Um, they’ll come back to that next meeting with a different heart.

And I’ll come back to that next meeting with a different heart and we’ll, we’ll figure this out together. And it doesn’t always end perfectly, but. [00:52:00] Um, we’re going to, we’re going to collaborate on it and we’re going to try to do this peacefully.

Thank you, Rick. All right, two more questions. This is a really good one. How do you go about approaching someone you are forgiving for an injustice done to you and confronting them with that injustice and telling them that you forgive them? You know, if somebody doesn’t feel like they’ve done anything.

For you to forgive. This might be a little bit of a strange conversation. I get that that actually occurred to me, um, with that man that I called because, you know, it’s maybe is a bit presumptuous for me to say, Hey, I’ll forgive you. You know that that implies. Well, you did something I need to give you for.

And, uh, for me, I knew in the moment. There is [00:53:00] also a place for me to say, and I did. Please forgive me for anything and everything I said or did that hurt you. And, and I can’t emphasize this enough, even as I was preparing to make that phone call, the Lord reminded me, you cannot dredge up, even mention, the original problem.

The second I say we start trying to do that, what happens is You, you raise your fists a little bit, and I think the picture the Lord gave me was walk up to that person with my hands behind my back. Um, I’m in a posture of, I don’t remember why we got to this place. Please forgive me, and by the way, you have my complete forgiveness.

I have nothing in my heart but love for you. [00:54:00] Now we’ll say. It’s important to understand that just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you can, you’re going to continue necessarily in, in that relationship. Um, it’s, uh, remember giving forgiveness is for you. It’s releasing your heart. What happens on the other side of that is between them and the Lord.

And, um, I was prepared for people to say, I don’t forgive you or for people to not accept my complete forgiveness. It was for me that I should do that. From my heart. Now, my posture’s right, and, and, and I have had no one to go, wow, thank you for that. And I’ve had no one to say, you’ve forgiven, I forgive you.

And, you know, we’re gonna, most of those things we’re gonna embrace, and we’re gonna, we’re gonna go forward. [00:55:00] We don’t have to have a lot of, you know, in some cases I might not have more dealings or more relationship with them, but we’re, we’re getting there. You know, I don’t have any more of that in my heart.

I want my heart to be empty of that stuff all the time. From the past. And as I go forward, I want to keep it empty. I want to maintain that. I’ll pick up offenses as Paul said in the New Testament, a budge. Don’t pick up an offense. Don’t be offended. Um, don’t hold those things in your heart.

Really powerful. Thank you, Rick. Okay, last question. And, uh, based on who our audience is, um, we got a lot of data analytical driven people and they are wanting to know, do you have any data on how this type of relational leadership impacts your business?[00:56:00]

Well, that’s a good question. Uh, I would say that boy, I didn’t have a vision for what this business is today. My vision for this business was much smaller back in 1992 than what it is, than what what has happened. And I think that one big data point is that it is just incredibly bigger and richer and better than I could have ever imagined.

And I believe this is the way that it should be. happened. Um, I think that people who really are loved well and cared for do amazing things. They stand up. They step up. It’s making a man and not making a better fighter. It does. When you give [00:57:00] 40 and you really love people and really take care of them, you, You raise people up with no agenda for you, the agenda is I want the best for you and if that means that you stay, that’s awesome.

If it means that I’m preparing you for something else, that just is powerful and it is going to, it’s going to change everything. I know that I have much joy, uh, in my, here in the last years of my life. Career with this company. You know, I just have a, I have a lot of friends and a lot of them work for us.

Um, my very best friends are the people that, that I leave with and work with every day. And it’s rich and powerful and, and God does much through us. This is, we are blessed with. Just amazing results. And so I, I don’t know how to say it otherwise, but that’s the truth of it. [00:58:00] Fruit is data and you just said a lot of fruit.

So that’s great. Thank you, Rick. Hey guys, we want to find out what you would like Rick to talk on next month for our webinar. So we have just put up a poll and we’re going to do some live voting right now. So you can click on if you would like. The first, um, category, which is step one in kingdom leadership.

Um, if you would like to hear him talk about selection versus hiring, um, or how to develop everyone. So we’re going to let that continue for a few more seconds. We got almost 60 percent of everyone has voted. So as you’re voting, keep voting and we’ll put that on. Um, any of the questions that we did not get to, we will cover those in our blog, um, that is going to be coming out in the upcoming weeks.

If you say, I’m not on your blog, then you can go to our website, [00:59:00] kingdomatwork. com and you can sign up for that. It’ll come straight to your inbox and you will be receiving this afternoon, an email with the August, um, or for the webinar for September. Also, how to register for that. And if you would like to come to our next, um, That is going to be in February because, um, our October workshop, we sold out, which is a great thing.

So our next workshop, we are giving you 50 off per ticket. This is valid for the next 48 hours because you are our friends. You joined us on this webinar. So if that is something you would like to take part in, you can scan that QR code. And. And we will, um, get you signed up for the February workshop.

Remember this workshop, any of our Kingdom at Work leadership workshops are for CEOs and business [01:00:00] owners. Um, we would love for you to bring your team, but that is who the Lord has asked us to minister to. So it looks like for the poll that we are going to be talking about developing everyone and what that looks like.

And so we will hit on that. In September, we appreciate you guys joining us. Thanks for attending. We’ll talk to you later. Thanks y’all. Have a good day